Urinary Ramblings

This used to be our blog, now it's just mine. Okay, it's still "ours," but we're unaffiliated so I can talk about anything--even old boyfriends.

I once dated this guy whose first-date "test" was to ask whether or not you peed in the shower. He said it was a good way to tell if someone was really honest.

Gross.

(Do I dare to leave the word "urinary" in the title?)

Later I dated this really skinny guy. He was skinnier than me, and I used to be really skinny. Like, bony even. I asked him if he peed in the shower. He said "No." That night as he walked me to my doorstep he admitted, in obvious discomfort, that he did indeed pee in the shower.

"Your question took me by surprise," he said. "I'm sorry I lied."

He turned out to be one of the most honest people I've ever known. Second only to the the man I married who shamelessly answered "Yeah every time. It's convenient."

He's got a point.

Also, I like a multi-tasker.

That skinny guy, oh boy was he skinny, had bright red hair too. I liked his red hair. And his sense of humor. He once used a napkin to map out his funeral-something to amuse me while we waited for our dinner. He drew himself propped up in a chair, wearing huge sunglasses, and holding a sign that read "Thanks for coming." The sunglasses were there just to lighten things up. They'd have stapled a good smile on too, so everyone'd know how glad he was to "see" 'em.

I wonder if I'm a difficult person to amuse? Don't answer that Nate. Even if we are unaffiliated.

According to my will, I'd like my dead body to be donated to students, but "schlumped in a chair" was very seriously considered.

I'm a dead people person.

Also, it won't be donated to students, but to a university. They, the students that is, will be free to poke and prod, but I won't actually be theirs. I hope this makes more sense in my will.

I once read Rayuela by Julio Cortázar. Rayuela means hopscotch. My Spanish used to be that good. The chapters are written out of order. I wondered how he did it. Did he write it start to finish then scramble them up? Or was is something like this that just worked out perfectly?

I had never peed in the shower, but I know a good idea when I hear it. And now sometimes I do, mostly I don't.

Because it's still gross.

So...

Do you or don't you?