Overheard: Take Your Pick

Asher: Ew, Frankie don't pick your nose!

Frances: Asher, you pick your nose all the time.

Asher: No, yesterday was my last day.

Frances: Ok, well tomorrow will be my last day.

A Year at Charlie One Oh Two

**Updates to this post in the comment section below**

One fuzzy photo is all we've got to commemorate our first year in Seoul. Happy anniversary to us! 

Today was much like every other, with one notable exception- Jensie and Asher took their first city bus ride...alone. Don't worry, it's quite safe. In fact, they shared the bus with a few of their classmates who get home the same way. Still, I worried. Even after I'd given them permission and we'd reviewed every step they'd take --wait for the green bus, scan your T-money card, press the red button, ask the driver to wait, listen carefully for the name of our stop--I worried. I walked to the school and hid around the corner of a convenience store to watch them board. Jensie spotted me and and walked over with a smile.

"Mom," she said confidently, "we got this."

The year has had its ups and downs. We'd hoped to fully immerse ourselves in Korean culture but that's hard to do from our apartment in "Little America." It's like we're only half here. The kids are struggling in school. They read and speak Hangul pretty well, but Jensie is behind in math and Asher's often bullied. Frankie still asks to go "home to Georgia" every single night. 

We met with Asher's teachers last week. He broke down in class and told her he hates Korea. He scribbles on his desk, refuses to take tests, and regularly loses his homework (not to mention his shoes). Once he failed to show up for class. 

I took Asher on a long walk to talk about it all. We talked about the good things we have, but I also let him vent a while. He likes his teacher but hates how she worries about his homework "like it's a big deal or something." He's afraid North Korea will attack and often has nightmares of them invading. He doesn't like the seaweed in kimchi soup. Why do people have to eat little fish bones in his face? It's making him crazy. Mostly, he despises the "black parts of the Korean flag. That color is ugly." 

"Do you want to know why the American flag is better?" he asked.

"Sure," I said.

"Because the red and white stripes and the blue, well, it's just, 50 stars. One for each state. No more, no less." That's why.

We've started a new homework routine with each of the kids. Jensie's involves more math. Tears abound. We've increased the tutor's hours and scratched plans for weekend getaways. After a recent session with Jensie's private tutor, the tutor told us tactfully, "I think maybe she doesn't pay attention."

That night in bed as Nate and I talked this over he chuckled and shrugged "I guess we over-estimated them this year," he said. "I thought they'd go to school and learn some sh*t." Funny. Sort of.

It hasn't been all bad though. Our children are bilingual, whether they want to be or not. We have access to an unlimited supply of Angry Birds, Hello Kitty, and Pororo goods, which the kids buy up with their modeling money. Oh yes, they are professional models here. 

Frankie took a field trip to the COEX Aquarium yesterday. The sharks left her spellbound. 

Natalie finished up high school with a bang. 4.2 GPA, All-American cheerleader, starting forward on the varsity soccer team, "Best Dressed", a cute boyfriend, and a pocket full of "sticky pictures." Before she left we talked about how we've both become kimchi snobs. We moved here loving cabbage kimchi but have moved on to tastier raddish and cucumber varieties. 

Holly has come to stay in her place. People say we look alike. I am so flattered. She does the dishes without being asked. Tomorrow she auditions for two of Korea's most prestigious ballet companies. She and Jensie go to Zumba together.

I'm still crazy about the man who's been my husband for 10 years. Nate likes his job and does it well. We get a lot of time together. We go on dates most Fridays. Last week he took me out and let me order some bread, and an anchovy pizza, and more bread. M'mmm gluten.

When the weighty cement and smog of the city are too heavy to bear, we head for the hills. Namsan tower's become Nate's "happy place." We've spent chilly nights in Yongin Forest where we've climbed into sleeping bags warmed with hot water bottles after gorging on Nate's delicious camping cooking. Thoughtful Korean rangers check in from time to time asking if we're warm enough. We are the only campers without electric space heaters. We are crazy Americans.

Monsoon rains fall often but we all have umbrellas. The children haven't lost their galoshes and I still have my Crocs.

Yes, some things are bad. But mostly things are wonderful.

We got this.

Overheard: High Tech

We've made some recent purchases--the pet hedgehog I promised the kids at Christmastime and a new microwave. The hedgehog is cute and the microwave does its job.

The other day a neighbor called and asked me to babysit her (six!) kids while she went to a drs. appointment. I walked over with the kids after school and the neighbors entertained us for hours with all their their fancy gadgets. Flat screen TVs, fancy iPods, Kindle Fire, Nintendo DS...you name it, they've got it. When it was time for us to go home the neighbors asked permission to come see our hedgehog.

As they filed through our door I heard Jensie shout "Hey, guys, come check out our new microwave!"

How long do you think it'll take my kids to realize we are duds?

Hot Hot Summer

Cheesy (and oh so appropriate title) names for this catchy K-pop hit: Hot Summer!

Monsoon season is in full swing and a break in the clouds brought Heejin and her sisters and nephews to play yesterday. They taught us to make "Pat Ping Su"-Korean snow cones: red beans, shaved ice, sweetened condensed milk, rice jellies, pineapple, watermelon, kiwi, gumdrops, milk, and vanilla icecream! 

Sound like a bit much? It kind of was. None of the kids liked it much but Nate ate three bowls. 

It was a really fun experience though and danged if that wasn't the cutest li'l s/c milk I ever saw!

Keeyopda Prances

Frankie's been in Korean kindergarten for a couple of months. She bawled her little eyes out everyday for the first three weeks. I never posted anything about it because I was waiting to take a picture of her in her cutey little sailor suit school uniform, but, well, I don't know when that's actually going to happen. Anyway, she really likes school now. 

Korean school gets discouraging for all of the kids from time to time and we've resorted to bribery to keep them going. While Asher and J have big demands (a WiiFit and a Nintendo3DS), Little Miss is satisfied with a tiny handful of M&Ms at the bus stop every now and then.  She's not speaking much Hangul just yet, or eating her vegetables at lunch time (says the note her teacher sent home last night on little froggy post-its), but she is driving Jensie crazy with her incessant singing of Korean nursery rhymes. We are pleased as punch.

There's no "F" sound in Korean so Frances becomes Prances which pronounced by her Korean teachers sounds an awful lot like PRINCESS. Lucky girl!

This is Your Brain On Research Psych

It is 3:49 am and I just finished my stats assignment. What what! I'm conducting a research experiment to determine whether or not there's a relation between low self-esteem and slow Stroop test response times. Yeah! Only my project has no POWER (Google it) as I'm working from a 10 person sample. Wawh-wawh.  

(That's not crying by the way. That's my phonetic attempt of the musical let-down used in the Muppets and on Sesame Street. Know what I'm talking about? I always wish I could spell it. It's kinda like a goose honk with a w and no k. I make that sound in my head all the time while I'm typing. Much to Nate's chagrin, I make that sound in real life too.)  

(Try a Stroop test. Your kids will think they're fun. Here's a fun fast free one: STROOP)

This morning Jensie has swim team try-outs at 5:30, as in two hours from now. She is not excited. Not one bit. (It's that 5:30 bit bringin' her down). 

This evening, after our excruciatingly early morning(s) and a lOOOOOOOOOng boring school day (says J) we are going to the mall to buy a hedgehog. That's right, the long awaited, oft promised critter of woodland lore and garden shenanigans. We told the kids they could have one for Christmas but when we went to Pet Alley (there's an alley here for everything) they looked kinda sicky and I told the kids we'd better wait 'til Spring. July counts as Spring, right?! 

Discussing names for the new HH last night the kids decided we'll call a girl Mrs. GoodyGoody and dub a boy Doctor McBride. I have no idea how to determined the sex of such a thing. Maybe we'll  just flip a coin.

Speaking of Pet Alley, you really should see it some time. They've got everything. From the totally sane (parakeets and goldfish) to the unexpected (chickens and chipmunks) to the HOLY @#$%^% WHAT IS THAT THING? (sea slugs, see below):

This is a picture of a fish tank outside a restaurant down the street. Just a couple of slugs waiting to be your supper.  Wishin'....hopin'....

My kids call them penis fish. Betcha can't guess why.

As Promised

Now and Then

Provo High School 2000

Seoul American High School 2012


My girl Nat graduated! And with a 4.2 GPA I might add. I am crazy proud. Watch out, you know I'm about to hit y'all with pics. Whoo!

I Want to Remember...

Q: Please finish the sentence: I wish I had known…

A: …that my children would be my best friends and the women I most admire. I might have treated them with more tenderness and respect in those hideous moments of frustration that every mother faces. I wish I had known how much good I could do by resisting the need to punish and criticize and spending more time adoring them.

These words and many more in this Q &A style home tour on Design Mom today.

Looking Forward to it

While trying, and failing, to help Asher brush his teeth...

Me: Say Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Nope.

Me: Asher open wide.

Nothin'.

Me (exasperated): Asher I'm losing my patience. Please open your mouth right now.

Asher (equally displeased): Mom, it's "opposite day."

Me: Oh. Asher please close your mouth and keep it closed.

Ta da!

As we left the bathroom...

Asher: And tomorrow is "pretend to know nothing day!"

Can't wait!

Two!

Happy birthday to my pretty niece, Penny! I'm so far away and foreign I'm not even a contender for "favorite aunt" but maybe someday she'll see this and know how much I love her anyway.

Happy Birthday Mr. Nate

I threw a big surprise party for Nate's 35th birthday. Asher spoiled the surprise of course, "Dad, don't ask me about your surprise party because I'm not gonna tell you anything," but Nate still couldn't believe all of his friends showed up or that all the food I'd made was just for him. He'd imagined a small family gathering and bought my cover story of needing to prepare for a Young Women's banquet (no such thing). 50 people came to feast on "Cafe Rio" pork, sweet potato enchiladas, lots of guacamole, strawberry shortcake and lemon meringue pie. I'd envisioned an ironic "Over the Hill" party but black party supplies are mighty hard to come by in Seoul. 

Jensie was in on it from the get go and got a picture of Nate pretending to be hunched and decrepit. We'd hoped to blow it up to poster size and play "pin the cane on the old man" but alas, not realizing Jensie's silly pictures had a purpose, someone kindly deleted them from the camera's memory card before I could act. I'm telling you about it anyway though because I'm still so pleased with the idea. We did manage black balloons and Asher filled Mason jars with rocks and dirt. You know, 'cause Nate's older than rocks, older than dirt. Get it? And his hat OLD hat made up for most of what we were lacking.

I gave a cash prize to the person who came up with the best "Nate's so old..." joke. This is Nate "roasting" himself as he chooses a winner. The winning joke's not really appropriate for our family blog, haha. Here are some of the prize contenders-
Nate's so old...
When he was born the Dead Sea was just getting sick.
He chiseled 'BFF' in Methusula's yearbook.
The Big Bang screwed up his teenage years.
He took his driver license test in a chariot.
His hometown is Pangea.
My personal favorite? A slip of paper covered in faux reformed Egyptian. As in, Nate's so old he can read this!

I spent so much time enjoying the party that I forgot to take any more than these two pics, but we had a great night--made even more special with the arrival of my parents and grandparents (who are in town for Natalie's graduation). It was a great night to celebrate that old man of mine. Happy birthday, Nate. I love you.

Life Skills for the Zombie Apocalypse

Haha, can your kid do that?

Just Like That

These brothers joined us on our walk home from school. The kids chased cars and played Ninja and laughed about how their PE uniforms make them look like different fruits- blueberries, an orange, and Jensie, a watermelon in green. They giggled and bowed goodbye when the path split and we went our separate ways.

Asher turned to me and shrugged, "Well, I guess we're best friends now." 

Easy as pie.

Important Milestones

Jensie learned to blow a bubble with her gum. 9-21-11

Asher almost learned to tie his shoes. (He's slow and steady, that boy.)

Asher: Mom, guess what! I learned to tie my shoes at school today!
Me: Really? That's great, Ash. Good job.
Asher: Nah, I'm just kidding. I learned how to slip them on and off without touching the laces!

I just helped Frankie make a sign for her bedroom door that reads:

Please no mothers allowed in my room ever.