Thursday, May 13, 2010

Lately

Jensie came home from school bubbling with excitement. When I asked what was up she asked enthusiastically "Mom guess what place I took in the school 5k?!"

"I don't know" I said, thinking Second? Third?

"515th!" she beamed.

"Wow! Now that's something." I exclaimed trying to hide my surprised laughter. "Were there lots of kids that finished before and after you too?"

"Oh no," she grinned. "No one finished after me. I was the very last one!"
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Asher: Mom, is Santa real?

Me: Of course.

Asher: But he's magic?

Me: Yep.

Asher: Like God and...Tyler?!

Tyler is my sister Kate's boyfriend who's got a never ending supply of ear-quarters and magically appearing candy. He is apparently also a near-deity. Thanks Ty!
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The other day, over dinner, Asher asked "Mom, when will you have another baby?"

I did my best to explain that we wouldn't be adding anymore to the Bigler brood, by saying "We're not going to have more babies. Dad and I talked about it and we decided that three babies is just the right number for us."

"Well when you get another husband you'll have more." Asher insisted.

I told the kids I wasn't really in the market for another husband, as I'm really thrilled with the one I've got.

"But if Dad dies you'll get a new husband," added my pragmatic firstborn. "You'll need someone else to give you money!"

I had to laugh--the girl had a point. "That's true," I said. "If Daddy died, I might get married again someday."

"And then you could have another baby!" Asher crowed.

Jensie let that settle for moment before crying out in disgust "Ugh! Then you'd be an old mom."
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Today a napping Frankie was startled awake by the crunch of a Vlasic commercial. I guess they're not kidding about that "Big Pickle Crunch!"
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Jensie: Why are you crying?!

Me: I just miss your dad.

Jensie: Well so do we, but you don't see us choking up and freaking out, do you.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Check

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I haven't forgotten the spring goals I set last year. And that one about learning to slaughter a turkey? Done and done.

Charlie at Benjamin Farms helped me dress an 18 lb. heirloom Holland White, and my dad cooked him up fancy just for Mother's Day.

I'd never met Charlie when I called and asked him to teach me how to slaughter a bird. And while it's probably not a request he often gets, he agreed and patiently walked me through the entire process.

I was nervous about being totally disgusted, but the whole time I was at the farm, I felt proud and happy. It never felt gross. Sure, the smell of boiled turkey feathers is somewhat off-putting, but in a few short hours I learned so much.

I learned more about what I'm capable of, and more about community. I so appreciated Charlie's willingness to share the things he knows. I just kept thinking This is how it's supposed to be--healthy, well fed animals being killed quickly and respectfully, neighbors helping neighbors--this is what it's all about.

So guys, go learn something. And if you have to, ask a stranger for help. Trust me, you'll be glad you did.

Gets Me Every Time



Let the countdown to R&R begin!

51 days folks. 51 days.

Thursday, May 6, 2010

A Backyard in Prose

Before leaving Columbus I tried to write about the things I'd come to love about the sweet sticky South--I tried to write about my trees.

Through days of reflection words flowed freely in my mind, often bringing me to tears of gratitude and frustration. I did mean to record my arboreal musings, but the time preceding our Westward move was busy and full. Too late I paused, putting pen to paper, and found that my thoughts had stilled.

The words I'd so hoped to say are, quite simply, gone and will not be recalled.

This is all I have left:

"Growing up a desert-dweller, you will"
"when you move to Georgia"

Unlikely first lines to a draft incomplete.

Though the right words elude me still, I would like to say this: having spent my young life in the high golden desert, the seductive canopy of a forty foot maple is a temptation I can not resist.

A way down in Dixie each home for sale is buried in blankets of fallen needles and the dull crunch of last year's deciduous greens.

Forgetting the actual house where you'll live, you'll see in your mind's eye warm afternoon's spent in the shade. You envision the mounds of red fallen leaves, the laughter of children with chilled running noses, catch a glimpse of winter's gray light seeping through windows patterned by shadows of each sleeping limb.

Your husband might ask "Wouldn't you like something newer?" "How about something with a little less maintenance?" No. Without hesitation you insist that the shade dappled lawn be made yours. Only after you've signed and been handed the deed do you begin to remember you are after all, in unfamiliar territory, unaccustomed to much but sage brush and scrub oak.

Trees aren't always what they seem. Yet, having sworn your allegiance, their burden is yours to bear.

Young roaches that drop to your roof from the tall boughs above aren't able to find their way home, and so make their way into yours instead.

You'll discover a gluttonous tick burrowed deep, engorged, and delighted--determined to stay. A doctor will ask "Do you live in the woods?" and you'll sheepishly answer "why yes, yes I do."

Two failed seasons of limp tomatoes and hollowed squash will prove that without any sunlight, your garden will fail. You'll sit and you'll think and decide in the end, nine trees must go. Nine trees is the price you'll pay for self-sufficiency. As men turn their saws to the dogwood and elm, you'll excuse yourself calmly, make your way to the door, and weep for the loss of each blossom and stem.

From December to May, while tornadoes churn, you'll cower anxiously in the hopeful safety of your porcelain tub. Majestic oaks, tall brittle ancients, uproot in the night, crashing through windows, side-swiping the porch, passing by, once again, the rooms where your children lay sleeping. Stepping out the next morning, you see houses destroyed, buildings over turned, a city in ruins. You know just how lucky you are and give thanks.

Then one sunny day, on your way to the street, you'll hear a strange sound coming out from the depths of a prickly pine. Stepping nearer you realize it's thousands of mouths, the crunch of an evergreen being devoured where it stands. An expert "tree guy" will confirm your fears, ravenous beetles have hollowed its core, and while kicking the trunk just to show you he means it, the tree will begin to moan and collapse. "It's likely" he says "that they've reached others too." The solution is simple, fell them all quickly and grind down the stumps, but it will cost you a pretty penny for the tall pine alone. From where you stand 30 more can be seen and you stop counting then because it's useless to argue. The safety of your children depends on the health of your trees. So you say "Go ahead," and stand back and wait, knowing full well that today could be it--you'll lose your shirt for those large lofty pines.

Every worry you face in that alien land is all on account of those big green damn trees. When your last day arrives and you finally leave, backing out of the driveway you think Well good riddance! though you know in your heart that those big green damn trees, growing tall on the laughter of good Southern folk, are what, in this place, you love most of all.

And back on the sod of your childhood home, where mountains erupt from a dry barren land, you'll long to return to your corner of Eden.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

The Red Wheelbarrow

so much depends
upon

a red wheel
barrow

glazed with rain
water

beside the white
chickens

--William Carlos Williams

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Like Father Like Son

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I like to think of Nate as a man of good taste, what with being his "chosen one" and all. It's good for my ego. Still, there are times I find cause to doubt. Like when he declared Fergie, female lead of the Black Eyed Peas, to be the most beautiful woman in the entertainment industry.

"Fergie?" I cried, "Fergie?! But what about Penlope Cruz, and Charlize Theron, and..."

"Hey you didn't ask who had the most class," he insisted "you just said 'beautiful'."

Last fall, Nate, Mike, and Gen gathered 'round the Straz family "jumbo-tron" to watch the VMAs. Nate sat mesmerized through an oozing performance of "Paparazzi" and announced a profound respect for Lady Gaga.

This afternoon as we were driving Jensie to tumbling, the radio cut out on NPR. Having recently loaned most of the kids' favorite CDs to a friend, I turned to the local "Top Hits" station--something I almost never do for fear being audibly accosted by the likes of Kid Rock or worse, Hinder. ("Lips of an Angel"-worst song ever.)

Gaga's "Poker Face" blasted through the speakers of the minivan. With a look of disgust, Asher called out "This song is weird!" then quickly added "Can you put it on repeat?"

Ugh, men.

Friday, April 30, 2010

I Hear Someone Crying

Frankie: Mom, something happened to Asher! Maybe I punched him in the face.

Me: Maybe you did?

Frankie: Yeah, maybe. I'm not sure.

Right.

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Waterfowl

Dear Seth,

Ask and ye shall receive...

Tonight I am thinking about ducks. Khaki Campbells to be specific. I want some. Maybe four, maybe five. No more than five. I'd like to have them just to have them--to watch them swim in their kiddie pool and root around in the mud. It seems I have a soft spot for animals that do that sort of thing. KCs like to munch on snails, mosquitoes, and other backyard pests. We will gather their eggs and make puffy gluten free cakes with their rich fatty yolks.


Khaki Campbells out-lay chickens and aren't nearly as noisy. But where chickens are smart enough to sleep tucked into a pretty coop, ducks prefer to nest on the ground. That's all well and good until you stop to consider the hidden dangers of a backyard in Dixie.

Last summer our neighbor spotted Nate in the yard and leaned over the back fence to offer up a warning. He'd been pet-sitting a friend's prized Macaws and had carried them out onto his patio for some fresh air. Too late he'd discovered a stealthy predator devouring the last of his pal's jungle birds.

"Hey you need to watch out for your babies," he said. "Don't let them play out here alone. I just killed a big snake, I'm sure there are more."

When a Good Ol' Boy, from the land of swamp monsters and roaches the size of mice, warns of a "big snake," he ain't kiddin'.

(Now Seth, don't be too hard on him for setting those pretty parrots out on the deck in the first place. Having once fried a box turtle to a scaly crisp, I know first hand how easy that mistake is to make.)

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Backyard marshmallow roast with Papa- winter 2008

Our backyard is a little piece of Southern wilderness tucked into the corner of a quiet cul-de-sac. For the most part that's just the way we like it, but in addition to the snakes, there are often lithe leggy foxes hunting the squirrels that scale our trees and traumatize our cat. While the squirrels do seem to keep the foxes altogether occupied, I've no doubt that Mr. Fox would find a duck and her eggs a welcome diversion.

But Seth, good news! In the time it has taken to write the post thus far, my mammoth farm boy has presented a solution. We will build a duck house and nighttime run! It will look like this-

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image source

Another problem, another problem solved. Don't you just love a happy ending?

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Large

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"I think that dog has gotten bigger since I saw her last." -Nate

That Asher

Click here.
Read to the end for the pay off.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Too Cool for School

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or maybe just too itchy.
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Jense got to skip school on Monday 'cause she was all dosed up on Benadryl and Zyrtec. Some kids have all the luck.

Friday, April 16, 2010

The Human Experience

War. Theater. Dogs. Death. Faith. Babies. Music. Blood. Marriage. Family. Water. Birth. Mud.

Do you ever just think about what it means to be human? And wonder if you're making the most of it? If some of what you're doing is unavoidable, and some of what you're doing isn't enough? Wonder what should change, what should stop, what can be put off 'til later, and what must be done now?

I think kitchens should smell like coffee, hallways should smell like books, bedrooms should smell like flowers, and children should smell like grass.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

4-13

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7:00 am

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7:00 pm

Monday, April 12, 2010

Little Jay

Tonight as we were finishing up another chapter of The Dawn Treader, Jensie asked me whether or not C.S. Lewis is dead. I told her yes, but she asked if I could Google it to be sure.

When I asked why, she said "Oh, I was just thinking that if he's dead and can't write anymore, I'll help him out by writing a few more books for the Chronicles of Narnia."

After tucking the kids into bed I sat down at the computer to veg for a while and chat with Nate. He asked whether or not I've saved anything Jensie has written lately, so I pulled out her journal and read a couple of pages out loud. Nate and I said "goodnight" and I continued to flip through the pages of her little notebook.

She's articulate, thoughtful, thorough, and so girlie. It's too much.

I went straight to her room to tell her how proud I am of her--for using her brain, for her love of books, for the things that she writes, of the way she observes everything going on around her, and never forgets what she's seen or heard...

Her response?

"Uh, did you know you woke me up?"

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Slow Like Honey

I want my kids to grow up slow. This summer that means...
  • Rock Slides at the Honey Pot
  • Playing Huck Finn in the woods
  • Grasshoppers on the river trail
  • Bubblegum Toothpaste
  • Falling asleep to The Chronicles of Narnia
  • A Ride on the Heber Creeper
  • Fresh cucumbers
  • Sprinklers
  • Mt. Timpanogos
  • Farmer's Markets
  • Homemade ice cream
  • Picnics on Fridays
  • Snail Olympics
  • Space camp
  • Night games
  • Two-wheelers
  • Cousins
  • Fish tacos
  • Relay races
  • Campouts at Payson Lakes
  • A visit from Dad

M'mmm, it's so good I can almost taste it.
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I like this song. It's Country. So sue me.