The Master Plan

We're buying a farm! Not now, but soon...ish. Sometimes it's so thrilling we can't think of anything else to talk about and sometimes it's so scary we get sick and can't sleep a bit. It's like, homesteading, hurray! Then, starving off the land, agghhh! Since neither of us is too keen on subsistence farming right off the bat (what with three kids and a mortgage) we're doing everything we can to make the transition as smooth as possible. The master plan goes something like this:

Nate incurred two additional years of active duty service when he transferred his GI Bill (free college for soldiers) to me, so he will leave the Army in 2016. In the meantime he spends several hours a night reading farm blogs, books, and magazines and writing letters to successful farmers across the South. Add that to Nate's experience growing up on his grandparents' small farm and participating in 4-H and FFA and we've got a pretty good idea of what we need to get started. I know what you're thinking, reading isn't the same as doing, and you've certainly got a point. Nate mentions fencing or rocket stove blueprints from time to time, but I really hadn't understood how extensive his research has been until last night.

We invited an elderly missionary couple from our church to come over and tell us about their farm in Canada. They gave us some great "insider tips," and then Nate laid out all of his plans--everything from orchards to trenches--and by the end of the night, our guests had both pulled out pencils and were taking notes! We are in good hands, I tell ya. It was amazing to hear Nate talk about so many things I've never even considered. We'll dig a well this way... and breed these native birds... I had to laugh when Nate said, "When it comes to the farm, Erin and I are almost talking about two different things." I'm afraid it's true. My imagination doesn't stretch beyond about a two acre radius of the some-day house. In fact, I rarely even think out of the kitchen. Oh the goodies I will can! (Or "put up" as they say in Dixie). If you thought my house plans were extravagant, you should see the list of fruits and veggies I expect Nate to supply me with!

When we decided one of us ought to farm full time, Nate practically won out on brute strength alone. But I'll still do my part. Last year I went back to school to learn some "marketable" skills. I finally earned that pesky Bachelor's degree and will apply to grad school this winter.  I've just gotta make it through the GRE and I'll be practically home free. Just thinking about that awful test makes me ill. They changed it this year and I heard it got harder. Boo.

Eventually I'd love to find a way to work with military families in my own private practice. There are some great "Arms to Farms" organizations in the states that teach soldiers to farm and I'd love to offer work therapy and counseling on our land. At about the same time Nate leaves the Army, I'll wrap up a Master's degree in social work or psychiatric nursing. Which program I end up in really comes down to whatever school accepts me, though I've got my heart set on Vanderbilt. Pray for me. I've got all my eggs one tiny Nashville basket, so please bless I get in!

The kids are doing what they can to prep too. We've been pinching pennies and they often remind each other that no, mom can't buy any treats because we're saving for a farm. This year we're switching from presents to experiences for birthdays and Christmas. In lieu of gifts, Jensie has asked for a trip to the Kitty Cafe next week. Apparently you pay to sit and drink cocoa surrounded by house cats that climb on your table and rub up against your legs. *GAG* Seoul's also home to a couple of Puppy Cafes and a Sheep Cafe, in case you were wondering. I'm counting on it to be a very Korean experience.

This oughta give you some indication of Jensie's farm goals. That girl is so good with animals! I secretly hope she grows up to a a veterinarian/writer. The next Alf Wright perhaps? She will be one of the lucky few--a girl with a horse. We're so confident in Jensie's ability to care for a big hairy creature that "thoroughbred" (her choice) is near the top of our list of "First Year Must Haves." She is also dying to milk a little Dexter cow and raise her own meat rabbits.

Asher, on the other hand, is not so sure about all of this. His one true passion seems to be computer games. We're hoping to put that to good use too though. Right now he's taking some kids' coding classes online and I figure we'll just leave him in charge of the family website.

Frankie's needs are simple. She wants to help weed the garden, eat honey, and get a "weiner cat." Oh yes, and buy a baby. We feel almost as passionate about foster parenting and adoption as we do about farming. I probably suggested once that we are not only saving money for the farm but so that we can afford to take care of more children someday, and now Frankie makes the whole thing feel very black market.  

We'll be walking through the grocery store and she'll say "Hey mom, can we buy these chips?" When the answer is no she leans in conspiratorially and says in a loud fake whisper "Oh yeah, because you want to buy a baby, right mom?"

The other day she complained that "[her] life is just too boring without an adopted baby" so I think she'll be a big help when we finally manage to buy ourselves one.

Going Gluten Free? Start Here.

My youngest kids both have Celiac Disease (CD). At two and a half, Asher was a mere 17 pounds. "Failure to thrive" is one of the primary symptoms of CD in children. Because it's also a sign of a million other frightening conditions, kids aren't usually given an official diagnosis of CD until a plethora of tests have been completed. These tests are time consuming and expensive. Not to mention, terrifying. Asher squirmed through not one, but two "sweat tests"--the gold standard for diagnosing Cystic Fibrosis. When those came back negative, our doctor recommended we see a pediatric gastroenterologist, as his next "best guess" was Type-1 Diabetes or "something like Crohn's." Google is a useful tool no doubt, but I practically worried myself into an ulcer reading up on one disease after another while waiting on our referral to the specialist.

Frankie was diagnosed surgically, after undergoing full anesthesia at age two--a stressor in its own right.  Celiac Disease is an auto-immune disorder of the small intestine. Gluten (a stretchy protein found in wheat, barley, spelt, and rye) blunts the intestinal villi that move food through our bodies and absorb vitamins and nutrients. As long as no gluten is consumed, a person with "Celiacs" can live a healthy life and absorb nutrients correctly. However, even the slightest bit of gluten exposure can trigger a weeks-long immune reaction and repeated ingestion can cause infertility, cancer, and even death. Once you go "gluten free," there's no turning back. Overall, having been forced to consider the treatment and consequences of so many potential diseases, I'm grateful that this is the hand we've been dealt. I'd imagine most parents, like me, are relieved to find out they're only dealing with dietary restrictions, when moments before receiving test results death seemed on the line.

None of this makes the transition to a gluten-free lifestyle easier though. Sure, there are thousands of blogs, magazines, and cookbooks dedicated to gluten-free cooking, but how do you know which are worth reading? Where do you start? It seems easy enough 'til your first post-gluten trip to the grocery store. Gluten is everywhere! Did you know the number one ingredient of most soy sauce is wheat? That doesn't even make sense. And why isn't lunch meat just meat? Now add to the fact that you're giving up bread for-ev-er the realization that your child will never eat school lunch, never eat cake at a friend's birthday party, and will almost certainly get sick any time you eat out. Suddenly, despite the initial relief of your kid's diagnosis, Celiac Disease is totally overwhelming.

Take heart! In no time you'll be used to reading labels, packing lunches, and will learn to always have a stash of GF cupcakes in the freezer for last-minute invitations to your neighbor's picnic. Until then, here are some tips to get you started:

FORGET ABOUT BREAD! Seriously. Give it up. Take a full year off before you begin searching for the perfect substitute. Why? Because nothing tastes like wheat and you are going to be disappointed with the alternatives. After you've gone a good long while without the "real thing" though, you'll be able to appreciate that even though rice flour/potato starch/tapioca bread doesn't taste the same, it still tastes good. Taste-testing GF bread right off the bat is a total buzz kill.

Commit your whole family to eating GF foods. You will wear yourself ragged trying to keep up with two menus, not to mention the fear of cross-contamination. This is going to make things harder at first but you've got to remember a couple of things. As a family, you're a team! For the rest of their lives your kids are going to be the "odd man out" when it comes to communal dining experiences. Home should not be another place where they can't have what everyone else is having. There may be a few exceptions, but generally, if you're kid(s) can't eat it, don't buy it. When you are craving bagels or just really want some cookie dough ice cream, hire a babysitter and indulge on date night. Then wash your hands well and call it a day.

Look no further than your Asian market or the local taco stand for kid-friendly meal options. Indian, Thai, Korean, and Japanese foods are all inherently gluten (dairy, peanut, and most other allergens) free. Mexican food is a lifesaver! Who doesn't love tacos? Every grocery store in the states carries gluten-free corn tortillas and chicken, ground beef, and shredded pork are all easy to use in leftovers. Do tacos one night and loaded baked potatoes the next! Most kids with CD are also lactose intolerant, which means they can't drink milk but yogurt and butter are still okay. Plain yogurt makes a great sub for sour cream and nothing seals the deal like real butter, right?
 
Because my kids have additional sensitivities to soy, I often joke that we're "Paleo" by default. Even if you choose not to adopt a Paleo lifestyle, Paleo blogs and cookbooks are helpful because they're guaranteed to be gluten and dairy free! We use almond or sunflower butter in place of peanut butter and still enjoy classics like "ants on a log" or PB & B--peanut butter and bananas. Wait, make that AB & B.

My favorite easy Paleo cookbooks are 'Primal Blueprint' by Mark Sisson and 'Practical Paleo' by Diane Sanfilippo. Both authors also have terrific websites, check them out here: Mark's Daily Apple and Diane's Balanced Bites. I also recommend everyone read 'Deep Nutrition: Why Your Genes Need Traditional Foods' for a better understanding of why gluten can be so problematic and how to heal several gut and auto-immune disorders through diet

As a general rule I hate gluten-free specialty blogs and websites because what they lack in wheat they make up for in sugar. When first starting out, it's easy to get scammed into buying stuff just because your kids can still technically eat it. Oh, Fruity Pebbles are GF? I'll take 10 boxes. GF Pillsbury? Score! Except, not really. Junk is still junk, cookies are still cookies, and it's important that kids eat wholesome healthful foods.

That being said, kids should definitely get to indulge now and then and there are lots of ways to make special treats at home. I love the Paleo Parents blog and their new cookbook 'Eat Like a Dinosaur.' In addition to recipes, the book includes an illustrated story about a sick little boy who starts to feel better after eating "like a dinosaur" (meat, fruits, and veggies). It's pretty cheesy but all of my kids love it. They often ask me to read it at bedtime. As an added bonus, most of the directions include steps for small helpers so the whole family can cook together. Best of all, you can try some of their recipes before ever spending a dime. We love their mini egg pizzas!

I mentioned earlier how annoying it is that even foods that don't need gluten are still made with it. Oats ought to be safe, but Quaker manufacturers all of their cereals in the same place, making even their oatmeal totally off limits. Bob's Red Mill brand is great for certified GF products and you can save money by buying in bulk and subscribing to Amazon's auto-shipping program. Rudy's, Udi's, Annie's Homegrown, Amy's, and Kinnikinnick are other great GF brands.

Remember, you'll need to change more than just your diet to keep your kids healthy. Lotion, shampoo, and even residual laundry soap can all be absorbed through the skin and so must also be gluten free. We use baking soda to wash our hair (just sprinkle and massage scalp) and we rinse with organic apple cider vinegar. Nothing harmful there! If you're not ready to be that hippie though, there are lots of great store-bought allergen-free products. We've had good luck with California Baby and you can buy their stuff in bulk at Costco or from Soap.com. If you're looking for less expensive options I think Dove products are safe as well. But you don't have to take my word for it. If you're even unsure of anything, call the 800 number on the back of the product, or you know, just Google it.

Dr. Bronner's pure Castile soap is the best option in my opinion because it can be used for everything- dishes, hand soap, shampoo, etc. and is even gentle enough for babies or kids with eczema (another common side effect of CD). We even use it to brush our teeth! It's slightly more expensive than most commercial soaps, but you can stretch your dollar by diluting it a bit. It's so effective that even watered down it still works well.

I make our laundry detergent because it's easy and works well. Trust me, I wouldn't do it if it was a pain and didn't save a lot of money. Wellness Mama and Mommypotamus are great for healthy DIYs. Use a double scoop of this recipe plus 1/4 cup of hydrogen peroxide on loads with lots of stains and let them soak a while before running your wash cycle.

In the kitchen, toss old Teflon pans and donate your used cast-iron skillet to Goodwill. Porous pots and pans are likely gluten contaminates.  Replace them with new-and-improved post-gluten cast iron and ditch the Teflon for good! If you're not accustomed to cooking with cast iron don't worry too much about the suggested "seasoning." Just use a paper towel or dish rag to wipe down the inside with some olive oil or lard and start cooking. If you keep it well oiled and use it often, it'll season itself in no time.

Because CD is an auto-immune disorder, you might not see improvement overnight. It takes time for the gut to heal, especially if you've been life-long gluten eaters. Daily doses of high-quality probiotics like BioKult, fermented Cod Liver Oil, and plain ol' raw honey can all help aid in a speedy recovery. 

Last, give yourself time to feel sad and pissed that things won't ever be "normal" again. Everyone feels that way. Your options are limited and sometimes I still cry at the grocery store. There are CD support groups for parents everywhere. Attend a meeting or two if you feel like you need it. And remember, it's just food. Hooray!

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I often have friend (of friends of friends) ask about how to deal with other dietary restrictions and allergies as well. Most everything I've recommended is gluten, dairy, soy, and peanut free. If your kids suffer from seasonal or environmental allergies, in addition to great food, it might be wise to invest in a decent vacuum cleaner. Our Dyson "Animal" was worth every penny.